and Finding My way
There is something to say about honoring our truth for where we are at any given time. I find it difficult to put my familiar routines of life (many of which don’t work for me) aside for what is really important. I have a long history of just “doing” and going, planning and repeating. Never really challenging what fits and what does not fit. I’ve just muddled through life at a severely fast pace. Since starting to teach again, I can see how I am teaching myself too and incorporating small amounts of time to find space, heal and make new discoveries.
I’ve been participating in mini creative sessions with a fellow artist over the last few months. Having more of these fleeting sessions is changing me. I create deliberate space filled with my intuition and my breath. I let go. I play. I give permission to get curious without judgement and I create. I become aware of my inner thoughts and I do not censor. I set intentions and I fulfill them with an open heart. And afterward, I write, I learn and see without my eyes because I feel and I know. I can tell others how that is where the good stuff is found; that is where you will find your voice. But the question of how to actively create that space for myself has taken me awhile to figure out. It’s scary. The unknown and creating change is hard to address at times. As I exercise the right to show up for myself first, I find possibilities, presence and unconditional love. And that is where the truest of parts are found just waiting to be discovered.
She who Unites with the Moon and Sun 12/11/18
Full moon circling Overhead alignment ensues. Opening up she can feel her wings spread, Fleshy layers of brilliance Channeling the moons current Trees wrap her. Their canopy all around. Sea shells cradle their roots Butterfly forming Moon phases in full view. She is bigger than whats in perspective Pulsating energy vibrating and giving comfort. Sitting in a red ocean of her past Confronted by the moons light she is aligned today Recognizable, mindful amenity.
She who Gets Ugly She who Fosters Revulsion 12/18/18
Eyes wide eyes shut both protecting. One sees and one absorbs the security of the moon. Tears flowing Her ugliness is beautiful too. Freedom of fear. Sun setting in her face Orbiting her profile Mouth wide open pretending to accept Spinning swirling thoughts in reds and blues. Hair of tears Cascade down her face Full lips protect and reclaim. Eyelashes like forests Shifting parts to make whole again. Screaming silently Actively not waiting nor wanting Being in space Distressing Excruciating love beating and captured in every fleshy mark. Secretly battling the unpleasant.